Death and Taxes (I think I prefer death)

Let me begin with a little personal tax history. I used to do my own taxes until I started selling Mary Kay in 2005, and then it just got way too complicated with Schedule C's and the like. I became so overwhelmed by the thought of finding a good tax consultant and having to explain to him or her why I didn't keep very good business records during the year, that I just didn't deal with any of it! That's right, I didn't file my taxes that year. Or the next year. Or the year after that. Doesn't sound like the responsible, law-abiding, OCD Trisha that you know, does it?!

Then one day, I won a Mini Cooper, and I decided I better get my shit together because the IRS would surely be after me for that $8K debt. I found this awesome tax guy (Mark) who specializes in Mary Kay business taxes, and he helped me catch up all 3 years I had been avoiding. Basically, he became my new personal hero, and I was committed to being a life-long customer.

So where did things go astray? Joe is where. Joe is what we call a bargain shopper. Don't get me wrong, I'm not complaining. It's a very nice quality to have; he compliments my impulsiveness well. Well Joe decided that he didn't want to pay Mark another $200 this year. I agreed it was a little high, but I would rather pay him $1000 than go through the drama of finding a new accountant at this point. So I made Joe a deal that we could use a new tax guy of his choosing as long as Joe did all the legwork and I just got to sit and sign.

So Joe hires this guy that his dad recommended (Dale). Dale is a cute old guy who does taxes in the basement of his home. Joe and I knew we were screwed as soon as Dale put his pudgy little fingers to the keyboard. Bet you never knew that I work for the "State of Uta" and that Joe and I won some "prises" last year? Two-and-a-half hours later when his next clients showed up, we were far from done, so he asked us to grab some dinner and come back in an hour. When we got back, he had lost my returns. Thank God we found them, paid this guy his $160, and ran out the door.

First thing next morning, Joe scheduled a Second Look Review at H&R Block because we did not trust this guy at all. Surprise, surprise! He f***ed the whole thing up. He put the house on Joe's return, when it saved us more money to put it on mine. He put our prize winnings on a Schedule C, which is for earned income, so he had us paying twice as much tax on them. He encouraged me to claim a business office in my home for MK, when I really didn't qualify. Our return at H&R turned out to be much less, but at least it was legal and accurate! So we paid them $329 to just file the damn thing.

So then Joe calls Dale to ask for a refund. We were hoping for at least half, if not all of it, back. I know he spent a lot of time on our returns, but he was putting us in position to owe the IRS hundreds of dollars if we ever got audited! Right in the middle of the call, Dale cuts Joe off, says he will call him later, and HANGS UP. WTF. He finally calls back a week later and offers us $50 back (much less than half). Joe argues his point; Dale says no. What an ass.

So all in all we spent about 1/2 a mortgage payment on tax returns this year. I guess you live and you learn. The plus side is that Joe learned how to do the Schedule Cs for Mary Kay after sitting through so many hours of tax preparation, so we'll be doing our own taxes next year!

I heart insurance companies

So much for great State benefits! PEHP (the company that provides health insurance to State employees) has made a lot of changes to their plans this year due to the economy. First off, my premium went from 2% to 5% (okay I still only pay about $18 a month so I'm not going to complain). And, office copays increased by $5. I guess I can handle that. But here are the things I CANNOT handle:

• ER visits increased from $75 to $150. Let's screw all the people who are most in need!
• Drugs for the treatment of nail fungus will no longer be covered because it "is considered cosmetic." Now I've never had a nail fungus, but I can imagine that you would want it gone for more than cosmetic reasons.
• Oral and nasal antihistamines will no longer be covered because "availability of antihistamines as over-the-counter drugs is increasing." If this is their argument, why do we even buy insurance at all? Why don't we just buy everything over the counter?
  

and the kicker...

• Drugs for enuresis (bedwetting) will no longer be covered because they are "not a medical necessity." Are you seriously shitting me right now? Let's punish the children. It's totally fine to let kids piss all over themselves. They may not be MEDICALLY necessary, but they sure as hell are necessary for good MENTAL HEALTH! PEHP is going to end up paying tons more in therapy services in the long run -- for these kids AND for their parents. And society is going to pay for this new policy through an increase in bullying, depression, and more Suleyman Taloviches.

The Sound of Music...

...is my favorite movie of all time, so I just had to post this! It's at a train station in Antwerp, Belgium. I can't figure out if these are professional dancers or just the public, but either way, it will make you smile!

Bullseye!

There must be a huge bullseye on my car. This is my fourth car accident in which someone has decided to run right into me. Many of you know about the previous three, which led to a wonderful 18-month lawsuit. Luckily, I'm done and over with that crap. Luckily, no one was in the car with me. And luckily, HAD Joe been in the car with me, he wouldn't be suing me.

I was just leaving my office and headed to see a client. (Thank God I didn't take a State car. It was Friday, so there were plenty available, but I was just too lazy to deal with that.) I had a green arrow to turn left onto southbound Bangerter Hwy from westbound Parkway Blvd . This kid was FLYING up northbound Bangerter and ran his red light. Said he "didn't see it". As I was making my left turn, I saw him coming at me, so I hit the gas to avoid the impact. I didn't quite make it out of his way -- he hit my driver's side rear tire. But thank GOD I saw him, because if I hadn't sped up, the impact probably would have been right on the driver's side door! My car spun around 180 degrees right in the middle of that busy intersection. Thank God no one ELSE hit me!

So who do you think I called first?
a. 911
b. Joe
c. my mom
d. my client who I was headed to see

And the answer is...d! What an idiot, right? I called her, CRYING, to tell her I couldn't make it. I was so embarrassed, but I was already running 5 minutes late, and I didn't want her to think I stood her up. Then I tried to call 911, but Joe was calling ME at that exact moment, so he got to hear what happened before the dispatcher. The cops were almost there by the time I called 911!

The kid who hit me admitted he ran the light, and he got a ticket. Plus, a witness stopped to tell the cop what happened (I'll remember to stop next time I see an accident because that was really nice of her.) The poor kid was really scared, and his girlfriend was crying and yelling at him. I said to Joe, "I feel bad for him," and Joe said, "Me, too." This is why I love Joe. (For those of you who know about the previously-mentioned-person-who-sued-me's-reaction-to-car-accidents, you know what I'm talking about.

My car was certainly not drive-able. I could barely drive it out of the intersection to the side of the road. The tow truck bent my axle when he put it on the tow bed, so we'll see if it's totaled or not. Part of me would like to buy a new car right now, but the other part of me says, "No way! Your car is paid off and it's sooo nice not to have a car payment! Plus you have a wedding to pay for!" So we'll see what happens, but in the meantime, I have a nice Pontiac G6 rental car.

Rear driver's side tire (and the culprit's car in the background)

My back seat. This stuff was MOSTLY in a nice stack before I got hit. Notice the orange and yellow box -- the lid got knocked off and pictures flew everywhere.