Walk A Mile In My Heels: May 2009

Weekends of wedding planning, that is.

Here are just some of the arguments my mother and I have had since I got engaged:

Argument #1: Th

e bar
Trisha: We're going to serve beer and wine at the reception. Joe and I will pay because we know you're not into that.
Mom: No way. My LDS neighbors will feel uncomfortable around alcohol.
Trisha: There is alcohol at Chili's and Olive Garden, and I'm sure they eat there. It's not like we're going to do body shots off each other.
Mom: I don't care, I don't want it around.
Trisha: Fine, we'll put on the invitations, "Reception from 6 to 9, bar opens at 7."
Mom: No. I'm not going to advertise that there will be alcohol there!
Joe to me: Then tell her she can have her own private reception in her backyard and we'll make a brief appearance.
Trisha: I give up.

Argument #

2: The officiator
Mom: You should really consider having Bishop Lang officiate your wedding.
Trisha: No way. I haven't been to church in 8 years, and Joe is Catholic!
Mom: He is a great man. He would do a really neutral, beautiful speech.
Trisha: No! I hated his kids growing up. I don't want him to be part of the biggest day of my life. Plus, the symbolism of that is just totally disrespectful to Joe's family. I'm planning to ask a juvenile court judge.
Mom: Well you should at least think about it.
Trisha: I give up.

Argument

#3: The invites
Trisha: Mom, I saw these cute invites with a plus sign. What do you think about "Trisha + Joe"?
Mom: I hate it. The "+" looks like a cross!
Trisha: I give up.

Argument #

4: The hair
Trisha: Mom, here are some hair pics I like (all updos). Which do you like?
Mom: I thought you were wearing your hair down. Why did you waste all this time growing it out?
Trisha: Because you need long hair for a cool updo.
Mom: You should wear it down. Why do you even ask for my opinion if you don't want it?
Trisha: I give up.

Arg

ument #5: The centerpieces
Trisha: Mom, I saw this really cute idea of putting coffee beans in the bottom of the vases instead of dirt.
Mom: You know I HATE the smell of coffee.
Trisha: Mom, that smell is from GROUND coffee beans or BREWED coffee. Whole coffee beans don't really smell.
Mom: No. The smell makes me want to throw up.
Trisha: It's not like you're going to be sitting at the tables where the centerpieces are.
Mom: No. If I'm putting up with alcohol, I'm not putting up with coffee, too.
Trisha: I give up.

Argument #6: The

dress shopping
Trisha: Joe's mom will be in town for my graduation and for "wedding kickoff planning weekend" so I want to go dress shopping with her and you and Kara.
Mom: This may sound selfish, but I have been waiting 25 years for this day, and I don't want to share it with anyone.
Trisha: Well I want them included. I've been totally stressed about this weekend and how to make everyone enjoy themselves and feel a part of this, and dress shopping is what I came up with.
Mom: Well maybe you can find a day to go shopping just with ME before Mary gets here.
Trisha: NO! I have a job and I'm not rearranging my schedule for your silly selfish requests. I guess we can do something else that weekend if you refuse to participate. I give up.

So you can see why I have been JUST A LITTLE STRESSED about "wedding kickoff weekend." Well I have to say, it was not as bad as I had expected. My mom relented on wanting solo dress time (due to the persuasion of her bank teller) so we shopped for that. I think Mary's presence helped to calm the storm between me and my mom because we ACTUALLY ALL GOT ALONG!! It was a small miracle, really. And we found a dress! (Can't post pics here b/c Joe reads the blog, but email me if you want to see them.) There was just one small issue...

Argument #7:

The color
Trisha: Mom, thanks for being cool about me wanting an ivory dress. I really thought you would push for white and that would become a huge issue.
Mom: Well I think ivory is best with you and Joe living together.
Trisha: What?!
Mom: Yeah, I think the reason for ivory being more and more popular is because so many people cohabitate these days.
Trisha: I give up.

Eenie-meenie-miney-mo

Which one do you think it is, Joe?
You will never know...
Until the 10th of Octo'

Yes, you heard me right. Chicken Shit Bingo. It was just one of the Kentucky Derby festivities at Piper Down this past weekend. The rules are pretty basic. Numbers 1-48 are randomly distributed throughout the bar by green-haired Bud Light Girls. Then, a chicken is let loose on the 6x8 grid and you just hope and pray it shits on your number first! The stupid chicken kept walking over my number (#19) and I was screaming, "SHIT, SHIT, YOU DAMN CHICKEN!!!!" Joe said I was the loudest person in the crowd. Imagine that. In the end, the chicken shit on someone else's number, but it was sure hilarious to watch!

One of the Bud Light Girls letting the chicken "Ms. Obama" loose