I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell

I should have known better than to read a book that my BROTHER recommended. (Description of said brother for those of you who aren't lucky enough to know him: 22-year-old male with a history of substance abuse and untreated bipolar disorder. Unemployed for the last year, unless you count his hobby of growing and selling illegal drugs throughout the west side of Salt Lake.) I feel like a dirty whore after reading this book. I'm just going to flip to some random pages and and give you some random quotes:

• "Fellatio won't fill the hole in your soul!!"
• "While there are many wonderful women in the world who should be treated with respect, some are just filthy whores."
• "Motherf***er! How dare you besmirch my whore-attraction abilities. I'm going to hook up with a girl right in front of you, and then make you smell my finger."
• "F*** it. If I can beat her, choke her, shove things into her ass and get incredible head on the toilet, and STILL not find her limits, then she wins. I can't go any further."

And I can't go any further. Those are just some G-rated examples. The whole book is about Tucker Max's ability to drink more that is humanly possible, and his escapades of screwing a number of women "somewhere in the low triple digits." Check out this quote from his website: "I get excessively drunk at inappropriate times, disregard social norms, indulge every whim, ignore the consequences of my actions, mock idiots and posers, sleep with more women than is safe or reasonable, and just generally act like a raging dickhead." I agree.

The worst part about this book is that I actually finished reading it. And I have to admit that I laughed at more parts than I should have. I am disgusted with myself for finding some of his stories funny. I'm just glad I didn't pay for this book because the royalties probably would have bought him more alcohol and thus encouraged the torture and humiliation of one more woman.

If you are a misogynist, a pervert, or just curious, you can read more here: http://www.tuckermax.com/

T-minus 4 months

Well I'm finally getting excited about all this wedding B.S. And it really is B.S. I can't believe how much I'm spending on silly little things that I would never buy otherwise. But I'll admit it's kind of fun once you get going on things. This weekend we found all the groomsmen's attire, we designed invites and a program, AND I added a third bridesmaid! Yay for Steph!

"Stone" shirts and a SUPER awesome green/brown/stone striped tie that I had to special order from Vegas. These boys are gonna be HOT!

"Olive" vests that are actually more lime than olive. (And not with that tie.)

Flat-front pants in "coffee". They are so lucky I'm not making them wear jackets.
The invite -- designed by yours truly
COOLEST wedding program ever (front and back covers)
COOLEST wedding program ever (inside)