Adventures in a West Valley tire store

While sitting at Les Schwab last Saturday (my tire blew -- thanks for the awesome plowing last weekend, UDoT), I had the opportunity to step out of my role as a DCFS caseworker and observe the way my clients likely act when the State isn't watching.

This beautiful blonde 4-year-old walked in, followed by her toothless dad in Wranglers and her hillbilly grandparents. The first thing she saw was the candy machine, and she immediately began asking her three loving caregivers for a quarter. They were too busy looking at tires to answer her (even with a "no") so she kept asking louder and louder until her grandmother finally turned around -- probably to smack her and tell her shutup -- but she just ended up spilling her coffee all over the floor instead. And then, grandma had the nerve to yell at the cutie pie, like it was her fault that grandma can't hold a damn coffee mug.

So the little girl gave up (wouldn't you?) and came over to ask me what I was doing. Talk about poor boundaries. We made small talk for a minute about my shoes and what she got for Christmas, but it didn't take long for her to get to the heart of the matter: "Do you have a quarter?" she asks.

Of COURSE I had a quarter for this cutie! She wasn't asking for a dollar for the vending machine like most kids would. She wasn't running in circles all over the store like most kids would. She didn't even throw a tantrum when her grandparents said "no" like most kids would.

But before I could even say, "Let's ask your grandpa," he was already yelling at her: "No, you can't have a quarter! Didn't we already tell you no?! If you ask for one more thing, I'm going to lock you up in the truck and leave you there for a couple hours until we're done here!"

No he didn't. I almost pulled out my badge and removed her right there. And the worst part is, I got the feeling he only said that to put on a show for me, like he was some big tough guy who takes care of business. I thought about "accidentally" leaving a quarter for her on the floor when I left, but I was afraid they would smack her around for stealing if they found her with it.

I don't really know what the moral of the story is. I guess just don't let me see you talk to your kids like that or I might slash your brand new tires.

For all you non-believers

Yes, my family really DOES act out the Christmas nativity from the Bible every year. Here is physical evidence.

This is a video of the video from 2002. You can hear us in the background (in 2008) making fun of ourselves.

Narrator = grandpa
Mary = Devyn (sister)
Joseph = Cory (uncle)
baby Jesus = a doll
shepherds = Sondra (aunt), me, Tyson (brother)
angels = Kristyn (cousin), grandma
wise men = mom, Jessica (cousin), Cayden (brother)
camera man = dad

This is a short clip from this year's nativity. My cousin's boyfriend didn't know how to work my phone so he didn't quite get the whole thing.

sheep with rug on his head = Cayden (brother)
wise man in blue robe = Joe
wise woman on Joe's left = me
narrator = Devyn (sister)
Mary and Joseph = my grandparents

Here is another silly tradition -- the pinata -- also from 2002.

Worst Xmas Present Ever

We do the Secret-Santa thing at work -- we each draw a name so we only have to buy one present instead of ten. It works really well, unless you get a present like a got.

I won't mention any names here to protect the innocent.

I opened my envelope to find a gift card to Rock Bottom Restaurant and Brewery. I had never heard of it but my co-worker told me it was downtown; she had eaten there before. I went home, excited to tell Joe that there was a great new place in town for us to try. We looked up their website to find the address, and low and behold, there are no locations in Utah. We thought: "Maybe it's BRAND new and not on their map yet."

I explained the dilemma to my co-worker the next day, hoping she could tell me exactly where it was. All she could come up with was, "I know there is one here! I ate there two years ago!" She looked online and found Rockbottom in Midvale, but for those of you have been to this dive bar, you know it's no restaurant and brewery.

Long story short, she got Rock Bottom confused with Red Rock! She bought it at Smith's, a national grocery chain that sells gift cards to places that aren't necessarily in SLC. She saw "beer" and "food" and knew I would love it.

I'm sure there will be a happy ending to this story at some point. There are tons of locations in Colorado, so Joe and I will try to use in when we go there in March. Or, I might try to exchange it at Smith's for a different restaurant. So E., thanks for the card, and thanks for a funny story!!

The Economy

As many of you may already know, Steepandcheap.com and Whiskeymilitia.com are two of the best shopping sites around. Not only are their prices dirt cheap (usually upwards of 50% off), but their warehouse is here in Salt Lake, so you can pick things up and avoid a shipping fee. Well, not anymore. I got this email today:

We just wanted you to know that we'll no longer offer the option to pick up orders at our warehouse. If you have any orders still waiting to be picked up, you can come and get them, but from now on, we will only ship orders.

It's a bummer, we know, but it's what we have to do to keep the deals great. The good thing is that no matter which shipping option you choose, if you live the area, you'll usually get your order within a day or so.

Thanks for understanding.
Whiskey Militia

Can someone please explain to me how this will "keep the deals great"? If anything, it should be cheaper to pay one guy to stand at the counter all day and walkie-talkie to the back that I'm here to pick up my hoodie, rather than pay the $7 to ship it and lose $2 since they only charge $5 for shipping. Then multiply that $2 by the 500 hoodies they ship every day. And what if I buy a snowboard? I think it's still just $5 shipping, so now they are losing like $50 on shipping. Retards.

I guess I'm done shopping there since I'm not a boarder/skier/skater and the only reason I was shopping there was the deals. This is lame.

Excuses, excuses

Everyone makes mistakes. It's part of life. I'm all about "forgive and forget," but it really gets to me when people can't accept responsibility for their mistakes. See, for example, the allergy tech who messed up my face in October. How am I supposed to forgive you if you don't admit you did something wrong in the first place? No one likes to admit they are wrong, I get that. I HATE admitting when I'm wrong, especially to Joe. But sometimes you just have to suck it up and take the blame.

So this is why I was so annoyed to read this news story. It states, "People late for school or work because of New York City subway delays can get notes from the transit agency to give to their teachers or bosses." OK, I can see that this might be a legitimate excuse on occasion, but then I read how many notes they send out each year: 34,000!!! And this is not just a simple form letter, you see: "Each letter shows the subway line taken and the durations of the trip and the delay." And to waste even more time, "NYC Transit is working on an online system so it can accept Internet requests and e-mail the excuse letters."

Please stop wasting our tax dollars on this program. If you're late to work or school, that's your own damn fault. Leave an hour earlier. Buy a car or carpool. Get a different job. Or, keep being late if you must, but know that it's all on you. I'm late every damn day, and you don't see me blaming the traffic, the weather, or my alarm clock. I'm late cause I SLEEP IN. But when I need to be on time for something, I'm a big enough girl to make it happen.